Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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