only if we run a train.
done.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
