If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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