Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
