Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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