so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
