i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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