we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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