You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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