Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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