Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
