i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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