Plan B is the new Plan A
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
