Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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