When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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