playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
