I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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