I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
