just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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