she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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