so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish i was in the wii world.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
