you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
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He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
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You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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