dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
