Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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