Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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