i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
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I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize