what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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