My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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