Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
