so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
