The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize