The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
