I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
