What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
