I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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