His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
