you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
