she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
send nudes
from the living room?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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