when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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