is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
