Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
