if i died would you start the facebook group?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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