Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
