How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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