you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
