If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
handjob tips. give me some.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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