You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
