party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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