Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just had sex on a roof
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
