I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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