Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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