I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
