just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
