I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
