Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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