Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I will pee on everything he values.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
