haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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