He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Help. Why am I so naked?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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