I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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