I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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