ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
