I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
